We’ve Got to Talk About Matt Gaetz and That Weird Tucker Carlson Interview

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Illustration for article titled Nestor Is Not Going to Like This, But We’ve Got to Talk About Matt Gaetz and That Weird Tucker Carlson Interview

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Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.), the adoptive father of Nestor—a man-boy he has not adopted—was in big trouble Tuesday evening after an explosive New York Times exposé that revealed he was under federal investigation for an alleged sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl.

And get this: it was Trump’s Justice Department, headed by evil Fred Flintstone himself, Bill Barr, that opened the investigation into claims that Gaetz paid for and traveled with a 17-year-old girl whom he reportedly had sex with.

What’s at the center of the investigation is whether the Florida representative violated federal sex trafficking laws—because you know, it’s illegal to travel with someone under 18 and engage in sexual activity for money or gifts when you’re a grown-ass man.

Also, I don’t know if now is a good time to drop that in 2017, Gaetz was the lone “no” vote on the Combating Human Trafficking in Commercial Vehicles Act—a bill that pushed to give the federal government more resources in the fight against sex trafficking. Who votes “no” to trying to stop sex trafficking?

Don’t answer that.

And because Gaetz’s “no” vote wasn’t enough, he then posted a video to Facebook from his parents’ living room defending his decision not to vote in favor of stopping human trafficking. A concerned Nestor—a teen that is not Gaetz’s son and who has his own father—looked on in the background.

It has not been explained as to how Gaetz met the then-teen or whether she knows Nestor, also a teen at the time that Gaetz started claiming he was the boy’s adoptive father, despite never adopting him.

What’s even more bizarre is that before the news broke that Gaetz was under federal investigation, Axios reported that Gaetz was considering retiring early for a job with NewsMax, the Republican SpankBang to Fox News’ PornHub.

Gaetz “has privately told confidants he’s seriously considering not seeking re-election and possibly leaving Congress early for a job at Newsmax.”

I wonder why?

But don’t take my word for it, let’s just look at Gaetz’s own attempt to defend himself in a bit I like to call “Even Tucker Carlson don’t fuck with you.”

Gaetz took to the slimeball-friendly news station to explain his side of the allegations…and let’s just say he didn’t do himself any favors and tried several times to throw Tucker Carlson’s ass under the bus with him.

“You and I went to dinner about two years ago, your wife was there, and I brought a friend of mine, you’ll remember her,” Gaetz told Tucker Carlson, according to the Washington Post. Was said friend the 17-year-old that is at the center of the investigation?

Gaetz claimed the woman had been “threatened” to turn on the Florida representative by the FBI and told “she could face trouble” if she didn’t claim that Gaetz was involved in a “pay-for-play scheme.”

A visibly shocked Carlson interrupted Gaetz to claim—and I’m paraphrasing here: “Bitch, I don’t know WTF you are talking about!”

Later on in the show, Carlson, giving every bit of an “I can’t believe this MF tried to drag me into his bullshit” face, added: “That was one of the weirdest interviews I’ve ever conducted.”

Gaetz is claiming that all of this is an extortion ploy to get some $25 million from his family. But in typical Gaetz fashion, Gaetz sought to ruin any investigation by claiming that his father had worn, or might still be, wearing a wire to catch the culprit of said extortion plot—but you know what makes wearing a wire ineffective? Having your son tell the nation that his father is wearing a wire.

“Gaetz specifically blamed the extortion attempt on David McGee, a former Justice Department official. McGee denied those claims to The Post, saying he had no connection to the agency’s probe into possible sex trafficking by Gaetz,” the Post reports.

Gaetz continued blabbing: “Providing for flights and hotel rooms for people that you’re dating who are of legal age is not a crime,” he told Carlson.

Then there is this, which the Post wrote beautifully:

At one point, in what appeared to be an effort to get Carlson to relate to his circumstances, the lawmaker mentioned that the Fox News host had been falsely accused of rape years ago.

“I’m not the only person on screen right now who’s been falsely accused of a terrible sex act,” the lawmaker told Tucker Carlson. “You were accused of something you did not do, so you know what this feels like.”

With a puzzled look on his face, Carlson responded, “You just referred to a mentally ill viewer who accused me of a sex crime 20 years ago. And of course, it was not true. I never met the person.”

It was not immediately clear what allegations Gaetz was referring to, or if they had been previously disclosed. In a Nov. 2017 opinion piece for FoxNews.com, Carlson wrote that he had been falsely accused of felony rape several years before then by an accountant in Indiana, a woman he “had literally never even seen.”

By the end of the segment, Carlson was done with Gaetz. Done. The host noted that the news just broke and because they always try to hear from the slimeball, they asked the slimeball onto the show.

“As you saw, he did,” Carlson added. “I don’t think that clarified much, but it certainly showed this is a deeply interesting story.”

I can’t lie: Watching Gaetz go onto Carlson’s show and drag Tucker’s ass all around and under the bus makes for compelling television. I just can’t stop wondering what Nestor thinks about all of this.

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